I watched a show the other night called, "The Secret Life of a Soccer Mom". I don't know if any of you have seen it or heard of it. But, after I watched it, I was offended and irate! Here is what happens during the show (it's one of those reality shows on TLC): the hostess whisks a stay-at-home mother away for a week, supposedly to a spa to relax and enjoy herself. At least, this is what the husband and children are told. Really, she is given a chance to "live a week in the career that she has always wanted, and that she sacrificed in order to stay at home with her kids". This episode was a woman who has always wanted to design clothes. So, she gets to work with people associated with famous names and brands in the clothing industry. They put on a fashion show and one of her dresses is chosen by (again) a famous buyer to be worn by Jennifer Hudson. She is exhilerated by the experience, flattered by all of the praise, and woo-ed into this "new life" for a week. She is shown some video clips of her husband and kids at home, and she gets a little emotional from missing all of them. However, she "pulls it together" and "remains focused" (ha!). So after this week of glitz and glamor, she is taken back to her family. Her and the host of the show sit down with her family, she tells her husband and her kids that she lied to them about where she had been, and then shows the video clips of her designing clothes. I guess if this is where the show ended, it wouldn't have been bad at all. But no! Next comes the disgusting part. This famous fashion designer shows up and, in front of her family, offers her a full-time position! In the excitement, it showed her three kids (1,3, and 7) getting caught up in all of it and hugging their mom and jumping up and down and she accept the job. All I thought was, these poor kids are beginning a life of daycare, babysitters, dinners without the whole family, and not much mom time. This woman mentions that she wants to be a good role model for her girls, but I was shocked at how easily she gave up her priorities as a stay-at-home mother for the self-fulfillment of this glitzy career. I was offended because: 1. I do not stay at home with my kids because I don't have career options and more exciting things that I could be doing. 2. I do not stay at home because, so far, no one has offered me anything better. 3. I do not stay at home because I am always fulfilled creatively and emotionally. I stay at home because I think it's the most important place for me to be. For my kids and for my family. Staying at home is NOT easy and often not rewarding (at least, not in that glitzy kind of way). But, as I held Kate today when she was sick and had a fever, I was so happy that I get to be the one holding her and kissing her. I wouldn't ever pay anyone else to do that job.
10 comments:
Thanks for your thoughts, Alice. I think you hit the nail on the head. Way to go. Maybe I'll just print this post out and hang it on my refrigerator to remind me on the harder days what it is I'm really doing!
Amen Sister. I am so grateful to be able to stay and home with my kids and I agree with Kim that this is a great reminder. When we are old we will not regret the time we could have spent with them and that will be priceless.
Alice, I came across your blog recently and I'm glad I can keep up with you guys. Anyway, you are right on! I heard about this new show and was outraged also at it's premise!
Hey Gina! I'm glad that you found us. Do you and Scott have a blog? I'd love to keep up with you guys too! And, Kim and Heather, thanks for the thumbs up! We have to stand up for things that are wrong and ridiculous.
Hey Alice..right on. I think you should send this post to TLC. Seriously...
I didn't post today, but I did comment!
alice,
like everyone else, i totally agree with you and am so glad that you posted this. I agree with angie that you should send it to tlc.
Thank you Alice.
Erika and I just read your post on this and wanted to thank you for standing up for this in such a passionate way.
I remember hearing about this show and thinking - oh, that's kind of cool, but I'm so glad you pointed out the damage it causes.
We totally agree. I watched parts of the show and was disgusted especially with how they worded things and portrayed a stay-at-home mom. More power to you!
Jill
Alice,
I found your blog when I was reading the Kilgore's and I appreciate your comments on motherhood. I know how precious time with children is and how fleeting those moments can be. It is a shame that every mother doesn't see the beauty of what she is doing. I wouldn't trade my job for anything. It is too precious.!
I haven't seen the show, but sounds like another attempt to encourage women to shift their focus from family to materialism. No work can compensate for failure in the home. Women who know choose family first. Motherhood is the hardest job out there and many women are glad to leave the real work to daycare so they can get a break from parenting. The results are apparent in our communities and nation... families are falling apart, children are the victims. Mackenzie, my 3 year old, gave me a hug out of the blue one day and said, "My mommy. Home with me." I almost cried. She knows that I have chosen to be here with her. Well, she wants me to throw a balloon with her, so duty calls!
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